“Oh, why do you do this to me?” I say. “It’s almost 10 pm!”
“Maybe I need the room…” She checks my nametag. “Ms. Evans.”
“I already gave you the key, so get going to your room!”
“I need another! My husband is coming, and I need to give him one.”
“Like you couldn’t already make that clear.” I sigh. “Okay! Fine, I’ll do it, just give me a moment.”
“Thank god!” She mumbles. “I really was wondering if I should of just left.” I walk down from the front desk into a hallway. The hallway leads to where I can find all the room keys. I always think why do they put it so far away? Every time I walk down here.
I walk further down the winding hall, then take a turn to my right. Why is it always so confusing? I think. The gritty tiles are always a harsh change from the main hall. It’s like they just decided to use a different, and objectively worse material here.
I look to where the cabinet is, for I have reached it by now. I walk up to where it is, and I see a door. A thick metal door. This door was never here before, I think, then I make a quick decision to knock and ask where it went. Seriously, where did it go? “Excuse me.” I say in a firm voice. “Do you know where the cabinet to keys went?”
I get no response. Huh, weird. I knock again. “Hello?” I practically shout. I slam the door. Come on! Why are they not responding?
The reason I don’t just open the door now, is because this is the only metal door I have seen in this building. I look closely at the wallpaper, because I have nothing else to do. I don’t really want to do it, but the wait is boring. The wallpaper is a pale, very pale, yellow color. It has off white strips and arrows going in either direction. The arrows are all lined up going up or down, and the ones adjacent to them in the side-to-side direction are pointing in the opposite directions.
Wait. Hold up. Hold the phone. I look closer, to see if I was just seeing things. Nope. All of them are point towards the door. No! I think. That’s not how wallpaper works! I think waiting so long is affecting me too much. I open the door, to which my surprise, is unlocked.
I step through the door. What I see now looks exactly the same as before. Slightly different than I expected. Scratch that. Completely different than I expected. I can’t really do anything else but keep looking for where the keys are, but seriously, where would they be? That woman kind of made that part of my job. Well, not directly her, because I am the receptionist, but I really did not need to go out of my way to get another key.
I take another right turn and see something. Something a little off. A little very bit off. The wallpaper is slightly torn. Only noticeable enough to see, but that’s it. Nope. Not going there! I think.
“Oh but you are.”
“Who said that!” I yell. “Who the hell said that!” I frantically look around. I see nothing but the wallpaper, and the uncomfortable tiles on the ground. “Don’t be messing with me!” I warn. Wait, what did they even mean? I look around, and I can’t see the way I came from. Wait. Where did I come from? Oh yes! That door!
I hesitantly look over my shoulder to see the metal door, slightly open. Yes! That is where I came from! I yell silently. I run over to it, shaking the whole way there. I say whole way, but it was only a couple of unwanted meters.
I open the door and see the main hall. “What?” I say in shock. Not real! It can’t be!
“The problem over there?” The lady says. She was still waiting there? Her husband should already have come.
“Uhm.” I say shakily. “Give me on sec, I left the keys over in the hallway. Sorry.”
“I would say ‘no problem’ but clearly this is a problem” She responds. I ignore her, and walk back through the door. As soon as I close the door I scream silently, No! No! This can’t be happening. This literally cannot be happening. I run back through the hallway. I come back to the turn, but this time, I turn left.
I see a car. A car smashed into a wall. The same model. The same model as that day. Stop!
“What is the matter?”
“No!” I screech, turning around. “Stop this!” I look up and see nothing. Nothing was there, just the hallway. It was always the hallway. I walk over to the other side of the hallway, shaking so hard I can hardly stand.
“Do you understand?”
“No more!” I scream, tears streaming down my cheeks. I slam my fist into the wall and hear a cracking noise.
“There is always more.”
I see mirrors all around me, cracked in a few spots. When I stare into them, I don’t see myself, all I see is a shadowy figure. I run into one of the haunting mirrors. It shatters, and cuts my body, and I fall to the ground. I lie there in the hallway. Just the hallway. Always the hallway. I get up in a wet puddle of tears and keep walking. There is a twenty-way intersection, and I take the leftmost path.
I see my brother. “It’s okay Cecilia.” He says in a soft, shaky voice.
“Stop this!” I yell. “This is not real!” I spin around trying to see who did this. I will rip them apart!
My brother is in a hospital bed, skin pale, and hardly moving. I see a squiggly green line straighten out and hear car alarms blaring in my ears. I try opening my eyes, but it stings in a dark shade of red. “Dad?” I say shakily. I wipe as much blood away from my face as possible, and see a shattered pane of glass, hiding the forest behind it.
I stumble out of the car and fall onto the hard floor of the hallway. “Why?” I cry. “Why?” I repeat.
“You know why.”
“I don’t!” I yell. “Tell me!” I cry. “Tell me!” I whisper.
I hear footsteps. I look up and see my mother and sister being carried by paramedics. “The daughter might make it.” I hear them say. “The mother won’t.” Leave me alone! Please…
“I can’t.” I whisper. “I can’t do it.” I stumble down into a deep, dark well, placed right in front of me. I keep falling. I can’t do this. This is not for me. I can’t live. I keep falling.
My body slams on the ground of the hallway. But now, it’s flooding a little bit by water. What’s the water for?
“Don’t let it get deeper.”
“How?” I whisper. “How do I do anything?” Tears stream down my whole face. Why is it there?
“You haven’t. Not a single thing.”
“The memories…” I whisper as I see the water rising. “The pain.” The water rises higher than waist level. “It’s always been there.” What have I done. What did I do? Why me?
“Because you’re you.”
“Okay.” I whisper.
“Here are your keys miss.” I say. “Sorry for the holdup.”